Things You Can Do to Help Parents of Newborn Twins

Parenting is hard. Whether it's your first time around the Mom&Pop Block or your second adventure with a subsequent sibling, parenthood can be tough to navigate.

The continuous cycle of days blending into nights is exhausting, and what may have worked for parents previously may not be as successful this time around because every baby is different.

What isn't different, though, is the number of hands you have on your body and how many hands you need to do the tasks associated with having a newborn. The same holds true when you've got two or more babies at the same time…there are only so many hands to get things done, but those things often have to be done simultaneously.

As a friend or family member of someone who has just welcomed or who is expecting twins, you may recognize there will be double the workload and want to offer your assistance in some way. But you may not be sure what actually will be helpful or may not want to encroach on their experience as new parents by asking what you can do.

On the flip side, the parents may not realize (until they're in the thick of it) that they could use a bit of help, or they may not want to impose on anyone else outside of the household by asking for assistance because they suspect the newborn twin stage is going to be hard and they don't want to force anyone else to go through it with them.

Whether you're the proud new parents (or soon-to-be parents) of twin babies or are an overjoyed member of their support system, there are a few different ways you can ask for, or offer, help during those hectic first few months of twin parenthood.

Sleeplessness, coupled with the endless, whirlwind cycles of feeding, sanitizing, pumping, and getting your twins back to sleep while you barely sleep yourself, can make parents of twins and multiples feel like they're barely keeping their heads above water.

And at that time of endless treading, most parents will likely embrace a lifesaver with open arms. That lifesaver can come in any way, shape, or form.

So, what are some ways you can help parents of newborn twins?

A parent's plea for help may differ depending on who's asking how they can help. For example, I'd never ask my friends to do laundry or clean my house, but I've learned not to be shy and ask for help with some of the bigger things if my parents or in-laws are coming over.

The following list of ways you can offer help to parents of newborn babies has been compiled by polling different sets of twin parents about what they found to truly be the most helpful during their first few months as parents of multiples.

If you like to cook

• Cook fresh, healthy and nutritious meals to keep parents energized during those draining days.
• Drop off frozen, ready-made meals for parents to thaw easily.
• Bring meals that can be eaten with one hand (wraps, sandwiches, muffins).
• Before dropping something off, check in to see if there's an abundance of food; being able to distribute people's generous home-cooked meals over a longer time frame helps make sure there's still room for other items (like pumped or frozen breastmilk for the twins) in the fridge or the freezer.
• If you know the parents are planning to breastfeed their babies, you could offer to make lactation cookies.

If you like to clean

• Put the clean dishes away or load the dishwasher with dirty ones.
• Empty the bottles and tips from the sterilizer and put them away in the cupboard.
• Sanitizing all of the pump parts and bottles is incredibly time-consuming; offer to hold a baby, so a parent can do that OR learn how to do the sterilizing, so the parents can go catch up on some shut-eye, while everything gets sterilized.
• Spot treat, wash, fold, or put away laundry. Even just randomly picking up laundry and folding it while visiting, without being asked, can work wonders.
• Help with light household chores (dusting and vacuuming the main living area or quickly wiping down the bathrooms) or offer to snuggle the babies so a parent can go do a deep-clean they've likely been hoping to have time to do).

If you like to run errands

• Offer to pick up more diapers, wipes, and formula from the store if stock is running low or they're on sale.
• Pick-up or drop-off a grocery order. The parents may have a better idea of what they need, so may prefer to do an online order for someone close by to go and pick up.
• Coordinate pick-up and drop-off of second-hand baby gear the parents purchased through Kijiji or Marketplace.

If you like a challenge

• Help source and secure formula or infant's fever / teething medication if you find yourself living in the reality of a manufacturing shortage of these items.
• If the babies were born early or unexpectedly, offer to help get the nursery ready by building cribs, organizing the change table, or washing laundry, so the parents can focus on their new bundles of joy, who may be spending time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).

If you like the great outdoors

• Offer to water the garden or planters if it's been dry; they will be relieved all their hard work planting flowers before the babies came won't be lost until next spring.
• If you live close by, ask if they want you to come by to cut their grass; a fresh lawn is refreshing, even when you don't have time to do it yourself.
• If it's particularly snowy, offer to shovel their walkway; they likely have lots of visitors and very little time to clear a path on the sidewalk.

If you like to be a sidekick

• It's incredibly helpful to always have two people at every pediatrician appointment throughout the first year; having one person to hold each baby for their shots makes things go much more smoothly for both the parents and the doctor because you aren't relying on the receptionist to be free to hold a baby or making the doctor wait while you try to buckle a very (rightfully so!) upset baby into their seat in the stroller, so you can get the second baby into position for their shots.
• A parent might not necessarily need help, but they may relish in some company that isn't solely a crying duo needing constant diaper changes.
• Whether you're a parent yourself or not, you could offer to come over, so you can both get some fresh air and exercise by going for a walk around the neighborhood, while you both baby-wear.

If you like to spend money

• Gift certificates for food delivery from services like Skip the Dishes, DoorDash, or Uber Eats are very helpful when new parents are stuck at home; they make for a great night-out-while-staying-in.
• If you're considering buying something off of the couple's registry but decide to splurge on something else instead, some parents urge you to reconsider; they have been fairly selective in what they've registered for based on a lot of time spent sourcing new, used, or already received items for their twins.
• It's key to have a safe place to put one baby down while tending to the other. It's also handy to have a small changing station in the main living space for the first few months. The Joovy Room2 Playard is big enough to hold both babies, and you can purchase an additional accessory called the Twin Nursery Center Bassinet Playpen, which is a must-have for this playard during those early days at home with newborn twins. It also has a diaper changing pad incorporated into the design.

Joovy Room2 Playard

This is the Joovy Room2 Playard. Combine this with Joovy's Twin Nursery Center Bassinet Playpen (sold separately) for the ultimate bassinet set-up for your newborn twins.

• $169 at Amazon

Joovy Twin Nursery Center Playpen

This is the Joovy Twin Nursery Center Bassinet Playpen. Add it to Joovy's Room2 Playard, and you'll have the perfect bassinet set-up for your twins.

• $99 at Joovy

If you like to hold a baby

• Whether you're a grandparent, aunt, uncle, neighbor, or friend, you'll likely be welcomed to come on over and be an extra set of hands to hold a baby, so the parents can sneak off to get some sleep that lasts more than a mere 45 minutes.
• If you're feeling extra generous, you might offer to spend the night and watch the twins, so mom and dad can get a full night's sleep and recharge their draining batteries.
• Offer to hold the babies, so they can shower without rushing.
• Snuggle the babies, so they can take some time to properly organize the twins' nursery; taking out the onesies, pants, socks, and sleepers they've outgrown and flowing in the next size up takes a surprising amount of time, so having an hour to dedicate to that without being interrupted is a huge help.
• Spend some time holding the babies, so they can spend some time doing a hobby they enjoy but miss because they don't have the time anymore.

If you like to offer extended childcare

• Offer to provide childcare for older siblings; "just because" the twins have arrived doesn't mean their schedules stop and it's important for their normal routines to continue…you can be the one to drop them off and pick them up from daycare or school, so that the parents can stay at home with the twins or travel to the NICU in time for rounds with the medical team each morning.
• If you offer to help, it really truly helps to follow any directions that have been provided (nap times, ounces per feed, bedtime routine, etc.), as they've been included to help ensure everything goes smoothly while the parents are gone and once they return.

• Ask the parents if they'd like you to watch the babies for an afternoon on the weekend, so both partners can get a break at the same time and have an opportunity to catch up with each other on an individual level.

If you like to offer support in person

• Offer to come by to visit and be a second set of hands, when needed. Some parents prefer to do everything alone, even if it means more work, and they have their reasons for wanting to do it that way. It's not that they don't want help; it's that they want to take care of the babies they brought into this world. There may be times when you "only visit" (which is still good company appreciated), and there may be times when they legitimately need your help figuring out logistics with specific tasks, like navigating the first stroller walk outdoors and how both babies will react to the new experience. While you're sincerely offering your help and expertise as a fellow parent who's "been there, done that,", it's important to keep in mind that it's the new parents' turn to raise their children; they may want your guidance, but they may also want to try to figure things out on their own.

• If you're a fellow twin parent, see if they want any visitors or would like to meet up somewhere. Your support can keep them going as they maneuver through the first months of having multiples.

If you like to offer support from afar

• The first few weeks with newborn twins are a total whirlwind and parents may lose sight of what day it is, unless it's a pediatrician weigh-in day, so take a minute to check in with them by sending a quick text message. It could be a shining point in an otherwise draining day.

If you like to do nothing

• Sometimes, doing nothing IS helping. Instead of taking action, sometimes parents of newborn twins just need someone to listen to what they actually need help with…not what people think they need help with, even if the offers come from a place of love.
• Often, if people need help, they will ask for it. If they don't, they likely have a good reason for not asking, and it's not to cause any grief.

What was the best way someone helped you when you welcomed your babies? Was there something you provided to freshly-minted twin parents that they didn't realize would be a lifesaver? Let us know in the Comments section below.

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