How to Successfully Sleep Train Your Twins

Sleep. What a beautiful thing. A beautiful thing you wish you could get more and more of now that you've welcomed newborn twins into your life, into your home, into a bassinet in your bedroom.

And you'll get those spectacular stretches of sleep once again, I promise–even if, right now, you're at the dreadful point where it doesn't feel like you'll ever sleep again.

All you have to do is sleep train your twins. Successfully, of course. But how, and when, do you do this?

If you're one of those "they'll tell us when they're ready" parents (and to each their own), you may be waiting a few years before you embrace those Zzzs. Yes, your babies do need to be ready to train, but they'll be ready for this long before they'll be able to string together the phrase, "Alright, guys, let's do this!"

Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Canadian Paediatric Society recommend that newborns sleep in their parents' room for the first six months, as it reduces the chance of sudden infant death syndrome, suffocation, and strangulation.

As you will likely do throughout your parenting journey, follow your intuition, talk things over with your partner, and make your decision as a unit. You will make the call that is right for you. Most twin parents opt to sleep train their babies around the four- or five-month mark. You will know when the time is right for you and your family.

You'll want to make sure they're developmentally ready for this transition...the sweet spot seems to be somewhere between four and six months old, once they start to recognize the difference between day and night (regulating their circadian rhythm) and once they can go longer between feeds.

Like with most milestone moments concerning your twins, you may want to discuss the timing with your pediatrician. For us, we were ready to start with sleep training shortly after the four-month mark, which is apparently a common age for when other twin parents start this same process. The parents I polled started around the four- or four-and-a-half-month mark, depending on what worked for their household and their babies.

When I tell people how long our babies sleep overnight (from 7:30 or 8:30 p.m., depending on the day, until 8:00 or 9:00 a.m—sometimes 9:30, if they're going through a major development), they tell me we're so lucky or that we hit the jackpot.

I smile at this, but nothing could be further from the truth. Don't get me wrong, we DID hit the jackpot with our sons; they're amazing human beings and we love them more than we ever thought possible, but we also did a TON of research before they were born and put LOADs of work into their sleep training when they were old enough for that process. We knew that if we laid a strong foundation early on, we'd reap the benefits for years to come.

There are many different sleep training methods out there. The following is what worked for us with our twins, and this method has worked for other twin parents we know.

Deciding when to begin

While there wasn't a "set sign" they were ready to sleep train, we recognized a few factors that indicated it was time to think about starting the process. We decided it was time because we felt comfortable with the idea of moving them to their own room. We began the transition from their bassinet into their own cribs just after they turned four months old, when we could see they were ready to start rolling. We knew we had to switch them from their swaddle wraps to their sleep sacks, and, with that, came moving them into the nursery and into their own cribs.

We started with them doing their daytime naps in the cribs in their room and then kept them in their bassinet in our room for the overnights at the beginning. This way, there weren't too many changes introduced at once.

After a week, they did their first night in their own cribs by accident, when I didn't have a chance to remake their bassinet before bedtime. I put them in their jammies and sleep sacks and laid them down in their cribs after their feed to hang out while I got the fresh bedding in their bassinet.

When I came back a few minutes later, they were both asleep in their own cribs. There was no way I was messing with that, so I slowly backed away in silence with wide eyes and we went with it.

We were planning to wait until they were six months old to be in their own cribs overnight, but after they were chill with the first night in their own cribs at four-and-a-half months old, we figured they were ready, and they've been in there ever since.

Be prepared to start sleep training without warning

While you'll likely have a plan in place before you start sleep training your twins, you'll want to make sure you're ready to go at the drop of a hat. You don't want to be waiting on the arrival of the sleep sacks you'll need for them if they suddenly show interest in sleeping in their cribs a week or two before you were going to start training.

If you have the sleep sacks washed and waiting in the wings before you actually start the process, you'll be ready to rock as soon as it's go-time, even if that time comes without warning.

We had two kinds of sleep sacks when we started sleep training. We began with Halo sleep sacks rated for their age and weight, and they were soft and cute and did a good job, but we ended up using the Nested Bean Zen weighted sleep sacks as our go-to choice every night because the small weight on the chest of the sleep sack, which mimics the sensation and comfort of a parent's hand gently resting on their chest, helped prevent their startle reflex from waking them up throughout the night.

Nested Bean Zen Weighted Sleep Sack

This is the Nested Bean Zen weighted sleep sack. It's designed to help prevent wake-ups during sleep regressions and help your baby learn to self-soothe.

• US: $49 at Nested Bean
• Canada: $84 at Amazon

This sack has a two-way zipper, which makes for easier, quieter changes overnight that are less likely to wake your sleeping babies. And the adjustable snaps at the shoulder mean the sleep sack will grow with your baby, which was a plus, since our twins used these sleep sacks until we introduced blankets for bedtime when they were 18 months old.

As a side note, the gray colour for the Zen sleep sack is better at hiding stains, in my opinion, than the bright white (we had both). While the white is nice and bright, the gray one hides the same formula, breast milk, and spit-up stains that were more visible on the pure white version, even after being spot-treated.

Once your twins outgrow the Nested Bean Zen Sleep Sack, the Baby Beekeeper Infant Wearable Blanket by Burt's Bees is a great choice. It's rated for 12-18 months (22 to 28 pounds); our twins were still wearing them at 24 months' old because they were still under the maximum weight threshold.

Burt's Bees Baby Beekeeper Infant Wearable Blanket

This is the Burt's Bees Baby Beekeeper Infant Wearable Blanket. The interior zipper guard and zipper pull cover help prevent your baby from pulling at or trying to chew the zipper when they get bored.

• $22 at Amazon

The interior zipper guard and zipper pull cover on the Baby Beekeeper help prevent your toddler from pulling at or trying to chew the zipper when they get bored. I know someone whose baby got their front tooth stuck right through the middle hole on the pull tab of a different brand of sleep sack. The zipper guard that is included on the Burt's Bees sleep sacks prevent this from happening.

Setting up the nursery for successful training

While you've probably already had your nursery generally set up since before the twins arrived, you'll want to take the time to go through the process in your mind to make sure you've got your nursery set up for smooth sleep training ahead of time. The training method you choose is important; however, having the right set-up for this transitional time will also contribute to how successful your sleep training will be.

Pay attention to the room conditions and consider how they'll change depending on what time of year it is—the sound, any light that comes through for daytime naps and how dark it will be when it's time for the bedtime routine, the temperature differential for daytime naps versus nighttime sleep sessions, the humidity level in the room, how crib placement will affect your routine or overnight activities, etc.

Sound and light

Make sure the sleep environment you set up for your babies isn't overstimulating. This means staying away from mobiles, aquariums, or other distracting toys with lights, music, or noise.

The only kind of noise you'll want in their nursery for bedtime and naps is white noise because it helps create a calm environment and will help your twins sleep longer. Even if you live on a busy street or in an active household, white noise will do wonders for helping to block any unwanted noise from creeping into your babies' nursery. Make sure you have some sort of white noise in place, whether it's built into your baby monitors or is a standalone unit, playlist, or app.

You'll want the white noise to be fairly loud, as loud as the volume of their cries. Having said this, don't blast it at full tilt right next to their heads; you don't want to give them hearing damage. Consider that if it's too loud for you, it's definitely too loud for your babies.

While having bright daylight cascading into the room is wonderful for wake windows, you don't want bright lights streaming into the room during naptime or bedtime. You may want to invest in some room-darkening curtains to help create the right ambiance for nodding off to sleep in the middle of the day.

Having said this, if you notice that your babies really have a hard time sleeping in total darkness, it IS possible, if they spent a significant time in the neonatal intensive care unit, that they grew accustomed to falling asleep to the bright lights and loud noises of the ward. If this is the case, you can try using a dim night light to see if that makes a difference. But I'd start with total darkness and go from there because lights tend to be a distraction that your babies will focus on when they should be focusing on trying to fall asleep.

Temperature and humidity

Think about how the temperature outside will affect conditions indoors and what you might need to adjust to keep your babies comfortable and within the desired range of about 68 to 72 degrees Fahrenheit (20 to 22 degrees Celsius).

While your indoor settings likely don't vary much, living somewhere where there's a huge temperature differential (it ranges from -40 in the wintertime to +100 Fahrenheit in the summertime, where we are) can require some tweaking to keep the certain rooms at a desired temperature.

Other factors, like if the nursery is on a side of the house that gets several hours of direct sunlight for a huge chunk of the day, can impact how much that particular room warms up during daytime naps, so you might consider putting a cool mist humidifier along with a fan in the nursery (make sure it's not blowing directly on the cribs but is just circulating the air) to help bring the temperature down a few degrees, if needed, during those hot afternoon naps.

The Frida Baby Cool Mist 3-in-1 Humidifier also helps babies breathe easier by preventing stuffy noses during drier seasons, like our winters, so they can sleep more soundly through the night. While it has a built-in night light that ranges through the colors of the rainbow (and it does look really cool as it fades through the hues), we keep it turned off, so it's not a distraction at bedtime.

Frida Baby Cool Mist 3-in-1 Humidifier

This is the Frida Baby Cool Mist 3-in-1 Humidifier. It helps babies breathe easier by preventing stuffy noses, so they can sleep more soundly through the night.

• $44 at Amazon

Crib placement

We kept both babies in the same room during sleep training. We have their cribs set up on opposite walls. We went with the Graco Solano 4-in-1 Convertible Crib, which has a built-in drawer underneath that is handy for seasonal clothes and bedding. My sister, who also has twins, loved this crib for her babies, too, because this crib grows with your babies as they transition from newborns to toddlers.

When we were still doing overnight bottle feeds, I remember thinking we should have set the cribs up to be within arm's reach of each other so one person could reach to hold a bottle for each at the same time, but now that they're not doing overnight feeds (we ditched those a few weeks before their first birthday), I'm happy their cribs aren't within reach of each other.

While it'd be cute if they were able to reach and interact with each other, I think they'd constantly be poking each other in the eyes, biting each other's fingers, or tapping each other and laughing about it instead of falling asleep, so it's better for us to have them not be able to reach each other from their cribs.

And that way, too, if one's awake in the night or during a daytime nap and yelling, the other one sleeps right through it.

As I mentioned, white noise does work wonders to block out sounds from other parts of the house, but it also miraculously blocks out the sounds that each baby makes within the same room, somehow. It's very rare that they wake each other up.

Graco Solano 4-in-1 Convertible Crib

The Graco Solano 4-in-1 Convertible Crib has a built-in drawer that is handy for seasonal clothes. This crib will grow with your babies as they transition from newborns to toddlers.

• $279 at Amazon

The sleep training method

The method we used was the Check and Console Method (also called the Ferber Method or the Interval Method). With this method, you and your partner decide ahead of time how often you are going to check on your babies (whether that's three minutes, or five minutes, seven minutes, or 10 minutes…whatever you decide you're comfortable with). You might start with shorter intervals on the first night and then go longer for each following night during the initial training period.

Remember, you'll have your baby monitors to watch your twins on, so even if you're worried and want to go into their nursery before the set time has passed, you can check the monitors to see that they're okay and be sure they don't need immediate assistance from you.

We have two of the Nanit Pro smart baby monitors and flex stands and we absolutely love them. You can set up the app to show you side by side live views of each crib and you can add their names, so you can easily see who's who without trying to remember which pajamas they wore to bed that night. Plus, it gives you real-time room stats, like temperature and humidity level, at a glance, has a built-in white noise machine with different soundscapes and a built-in, dimmable night light.

Nanit Pro Smart Baby Monitor & Flex Stand

This is the Nanit Pro Smart Baby Monitor & Flex Stand. In addition to a live feed of your baby, it shows you real-time temperature and humidity levels, and has a built-in sound machine and night light.

• $249 at Amazon

Once you finish the bedtime routine and put your babies down in their cribs (still awake), turn on the white noise, leave the room, and set a timer on your phone. If you find yourself wanting to go into their room, peek at the timer, because what feels like 20 minutes of twins crying can be, like, only three minutes. It's some sort of Tricksy Twin Time Paradox.

Once the predetermined time has passed, if your babies are fussing, leave them for a little bit and see if they'll settle on their own. If they're having a really good cry and are getting worked up instead of winding down, go in there (only one parent per crying baby; if their sibling doesn't need consoling, don't both go in there, or they'll think it's party time) and rub their back or pick them up briefly to see if that will help calm them down. Then, lay them back down, leave the room, and set the timer again, extending it by a couple of minutes each time. Continue this cycle until they fall asleep.

When they wake up, unless they need a feed, start the interval cycle again. For some people, it can take five days or up to a week for things to click. We saw significant progress after about three or four days.

The first couple of nights were rough, for sure. There was lots of going in and doing gentle back or butt patting or giving quick snuggles before placing them back in the crib. One night, I think we were each in there about 10 or 12 times between the two babies, and then on the third or fourth day, we had to go in there less and less, and then, after that, they were just good to go and would settle down and fall asleep within minutes of being put into their cribs.

While the first few nights were totally taxing, we were determined to see things through. We didn't want the stress and exhausting work of those first couple of nights to have been for nothing. Our perseverance paid off.

Why this method works

This sleep training method involves helping your babies learn how to self-soothe, which has you go in to help calm them down, if needed, so they can learn how to settle themselves and fall asleep on their own and—this part is really important—not form any sleep associations.

I realize that a photo within this article shows the twins napping with soothers; that was taken on the day they first napped in their respective cribs AND in their sleep sacks. A major milestone! When that experiment went well, we officially started sleep training and stopped using the soothers, so they didn't create any sleep associations with them.

Being able to fall asleep on your own is a necessary life skill. You want your babies to learn positive sleep habits, including how to fall asleep on their own, without any sleep associations. You don't want them to need to suck on pacifiers, or have to be held and rocked, or count on a bottle or breastfeeding to be lulled to sleep. This is not to say your babies might not still need the calories from overnight feeds at this point; talk to your pediatrician about when to wean your twins off of overnight feeds. What I mean by this is that they shouldn't use the feed as a crutch in order to be able to fall asleep.

If you teach your twins to fall asleep independently, they'll have the skills to put themselves back to sleep if or when they wake up in the middle of the night. There are always exceptions, of course, like major teething pain that requires help from a parent, getting vaccinations that might throw off their sleep for one night, or an actual medical issue that should be addressed immediately. But if they just happen to wake up during a lighter part of their sleep cycle, they will be able to soothe themselves back to sleep on their own, thanks to the skills they'll have learned during sleep training.

Implement a solid routine

In the early days with your newborn twins, there are probably going to be many nights when your babies won't be transferred into their bassinet until late. For us, it was usually around 9:30 or 10:00. And when it came to a routine, there wasn't one. We were in survival mode. It felt like every night was different. Even though it was generally the same order of operations, the bedtime varied widely and the success-rate of putting our twins down without any wake-ups was all over the map. If this sounds like your early-days situation, your babies will likely get into their groove once they're set up in their own room.

You'll want to incorporate a consistent bedtime routine. Until your babies are three months old, their feeds will happen right before bedtime; after that point, you can bump the feed up, so it's earlier in the routine and doesn't become a sleep association. Everyone's routine will look a little different. Some people like to do feeds, followed by bathtime, songtime, and storytime. We usually did afternoon baths instead, so our nighttime routine consisted of a feed, followed by a bit of playtime, then storytime, and then bedtime. Whatever you decide you want your bedtime routine to be, just be consistent, and your babies will get to know the cues for when it's time to start winding down.

Practice your ABCDs

Always make sure you're putting your babies into their cribs drowsy—but awake. You want them to be sleepy, but definitely not asleep. That long, slow yawn is a telltale sign. If you lay them down in this small, groggy window, you'll know they're just aware enough of their surroundings to take note that you're leaving (read: mom or dad aren't in the room now, so when us babies wake up, they won't be in the room then, either).

If a baby falls asleep with a parent present, but then those parents are nowhere in sight when they wake up, they're going to wonder where you went and cry until that parent comes back and lets their presence be known. That is why you're going to teach them how to soothe themselves back to sleep without needing physical items that won't be in their crib (soothers, bottles, blankies, stuffies, YOU, etc.).

How to handle the crying when you leave

If your babies start to cry when you leave the room, there are a few things you can try. We did a hybrid of these options because the sleep training advice we received was geared toward a single baby and we had to adapt it slightly to work with training two babies who were trying to learn how to fall asleep in the same room at the same time.

Our hybrid method worked well for us. Within three or four nights, our twins were able to go to sleep on their own fairly quickly once we put them in their cribs for the night. Those first couple of nights were tough, for sure, but they were totally worth sticking to the method for.

1. You can pick them up and rub their back or walk around the room until they calm down, then put them back down in their crib (always make sure they're still awake for this part). If, when you go to leave, they're going to start full-on crying again, repeat the process again (and again and again, if needed, for as many times as it takes).
2. You can sit with or stand next to their crib without leaving after you put them into the cribs and softly shush, gently pat their backs or butts, or quietly talk to them to try to encourage them to fall asleep. The main thing here is that you're choosing not to pick them up.
3. You can come into and go out of the room every five minutes, staying for one or two minutes to calm them down by providing support as noted in points one and two, above. Then, leave the room again and, most importantly, set a timer for five minutes…because even 30 seconds of "Why are you leaving me, I don't want to go to bed, come back RIGHT NOW" crying from two small babies can feel like 300 minutes of shrieking sirens very quickly. Watch the timer, if you need; the timer is your friend and will help you be strong during these rough first few nights.

Cap the nap

While it's enticing to let your dynamic duo embrace their daytime nap, whether they're in the crib or in an enclosed space on the living room floor, for as long as humanly possible (it's quiet and you can kick back and relish on how you're doing an amazing job at this whole twin parent thing; you can get caught up on laundry, finally empty the dishwasher, or have that shower you'd be dreaming about if you ever actually got any sleep), it's not the best idea, depending on how epic their nap is going to be.

As much as it may pain you, you've got to cap the nap. Don't let your twins sleep longer than three hours in total during the day, whether that's stretched across one nap or two. If you do, they'll get the biggest chunk of their sleep during the day, which means they'll be ready to play and fit in the feeds they would have missed during the day at nighttime instead, when they—and YOU—should be sleeping.

Dream feeds and reflux nightmares

If your babies are still small enough that they need the overnight calories to continue gaining weight (talk to your pediatrician about when to wean your twins off of overnight feeds), make sure to do their feedings as needed during their nighttime sleep session, but try to keep the "disruption" to a minimum by making it a dream feed.

The goal is to help your babies get their calories but keep them dozing while they do so. They may wake up enough to realize that you're there and that they're going through the motions of feeding, but ideally, when they're done, they'll roll over and slip right back into sleep.

Doing a dream feed will help you avoid a full-on wake-up and will also prevent them from turning the feed into a sleep association. When we implemented sleep training with our twins, we were still doing two overnight bottle feeds at that point; one around 10:30 p.m. and another around 2:30 or 3:00 a.m.

Because our babies still had really rough reflux issues at this stage, we ran the risk of dream feeds becoming a nightmarish mess that resulted in sleep sacks or pajamas needing to be swapped out without waking up the respective baby.

Instead of trying to walk that tricky tightrope in the middle of the night, we used a system of strategically placed muslin blankets for dream feeds that could soak up any milk or formula before they became a problem. That lead to dry babies who could roll back over and find out what happened next in their dreams instead of waking up crying because they were clammy.

The most important part of the process was making sure that the second they were done feeding, you could Houdini that muslin blanket out of the splash zone—without waking them—before they could snuggle up to the blanket and lock it into their He-Man-esque grip.

If you're dealing with reflux issues that wake your babies up overnight, talk to your pediatrician about it. Some babies get prescribed medication to help with it, but other babies may not be offered anything if the reflux isn't affecting their weight gain.

Both of our babies had major reflux issues but weren't prescribed anything. We had to hold them upright for a long time after feeding (like, 45 minutes or more), or they'd spit up a good portion of their feed, either almost immediately or as long as an hour or two later. There was no rhyme or reason.

We found the reflux issue seemed to settle down for both of them once they started on solids. But being told they'd "grow out of it eventually" certainly didn't make those early days of trying to keep them comfortable (and dry!) while keeping their feeds down any easier.

Sleep regressions and developmental leaps

Once your babies are sleep trained, you are going to encounter multiple sleep regressions with your multiples, when they experience longer periods of lighter sleep in each sleep cycle. In general, these will hit around four months, eight months, 12 months, 18 months, and 24 months.

Other parents we knew had warned us about how awful these regressions were, how they wreaked havoc on their lives and routines, but we didn't find them to be that bad.

Every baby is different with their growth and development, and our twins hit each of these regressions at slightly different points (usually one or two days apart). Their first one happened just before the four-month mark, and then the rest took place after we'd done sleep training, happening around 6 months, 9 months, a year, and then around 22 months. Each time, there were one or maybe two "off nights," and then we were back to the usual routine of going down at our set time and sleeping through the night.

I don't know for sure, but I think the earlier regressions our twins went through (four and six months) were harder than the later ones because they were still going through that early development and learning how to self-soothe and do things on their own. They didn't seem any more difficult to put down during those leaps, but it's certainly gotten easier as they've gotten older because they are just so used to the routine.

Our babies woke up more often overnight during the first leaps, so they needed more comfort or snuggles those nights. I was glad it was over after just a few days because I didn't want them to expect us to always come in there to comfort them when we know they can do it on their own. It was a fine line to balance because obviously they need us, too, so we wanted to make sure we were giving them what they needed, while still being able to go back to our normal routine afterward.

In those tough regression nights, we'd each be in there holding a baby if they were both up, and then it was just a roll of the dice for whomever got to go back to bed sooner, depending on which baby fell asleep first.

Don't be the thing that wakes them up

It's important to remember that, when they're young, babies are loud sleepers. They're always snuffling, snorting, grunting, and shuffling.

If you hear them wake up, don't immediately jump out of bed and rush into their nursery. Give them a couple of minutes before going into their room. They may just be resettling and fall back asleep.

The last thing you want to do is rush in there and really wake up the first baby with your surprise presence, and then have that baby's siren shriek at the sight of a parent wake up their sibling, giving you two wailing babies and major regrets on hurrying so quickly into their room.

Don't do that to yourself. Or your partner. I've been there. I've caused it. It's not great.

And yes, they might actually be waking up for an overnight feed, and if so, of course, you'll want to do a diaper change and give them their feeds as needed, until you wean them off of overnight feeds altogether.

Just don't rush in there to give them a feed immediately, when they might just be snuffling, rolling over, and settling back into their slumber.

And when you DO give them their overnight feed(s), keep the lights nice and low and make sure they're still awake when they're finished, so that they're not feeding to sleep.

Be consistent if you want consistent results

Just as important as every other step outlined here is being consistent.

Once you've completed sleep training with your babies, you want to be consistent with where they sleep and when they sleep—as much as is feasible. Newborns might fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, so you may want to tackle the overnight sleep training first, and then work on daytime naps after.

I did the opposite and worked on naps first. At first, I loved the contact naps. They were special, and I looked forward to them. And then, at some point, the contact naps being tough. As much as I loved the snuggles and bonding, with two babies who didn't often nap at the same time during those first four months, that made for a lot of sitting around and cramping arms or seizing shoulders until naps were over.

There were a few weeks just before the four-month mark when our twins only wanted to be held for naps. Eventually, that stopped because we switched to cribs for daytime naps. As much as I wanted to snuggle my babies, I decided they had to learn to not be held constantly unless we were willing to let that be the next three or four years of our lives—and that's just not sustainable. It's different when they're newborns, of course, and they need the comfort.

Doing daytime naps in the crib also helped bridge the gap for sleep training overnight in their cribs, too, I think, because then they were used to sleeping in the cribs already. It was one less "new thing" thrown their way when we implemented the new process of sleep training.

Takeaways

If you are about to start sleep training your twins, I hope this explanation of our experience helps with the transition. Being able to get longer, deeper stretches of sleep can make you feel like a brand-new person compared to those very early days with your newborn babies.

Make sure your nursery is set up for success, and help your babies learn how to self-soothe, so they put themselves back to sleep when they wake up in the night.

Consider it a successful sleep session once it's been 12 hours since putting them down for bedtime (though, really, anything longer than those first short stints should be considered a win).

And remember, "sleeping through the night" might still require one or two overnight feeds, if your twins still require those calories. As long as they roll over and go back to sleep once they've been fed, you can celebrate your success and your reclaimed sleep with sweet dreams come true.

Did you implement a method similar to this when sleep training your twins? What method worked for you? Are you sleep training your twins now? What is the most difficult part of the process? Let us know in the Comments section below.

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