Any parent knows all too well that time goes by so quickly. The early days with your newborn twins are filled with so many time-consuming, but necessary tasks.
Washing and folding endless loads of laundry.
Sterilizing a steady cycle of bottles and pump parts.
Taking care of twice as many diaper changes.
Feeding twice as many mouths.
Cutting twice as many nails.
Cleaning twice as many ears.
Bathing twice as many butts.
On their own, these things don't sound like a lot, but when you actually sit down and add all of these little things up, you suddenly realize how much time is flitting away when it could be spent with your sweet, little babies.
Yes, with twins, you get twice as much laughter and twice as much love, but you have to squeeze all of that into half as much time...
Yes, with twins, you get twice as much laughter and twice as much love, but you have to squeeze all of that into half as much time because when you have two newborns at the same time, everything takes twice as long.
Somehow, you have to maximize what time you DO have to ensure you have ample time to bond with each of your babies.
When you're together, which you likely often are, you can bond as a unit, but it's also important to find time, where you can, to strengthen that bond on an individual level.
Find time where there isn't time
When you have twins, your daily step count will go through the roof, and you'll blink and time will have somehow bent and it's suddenly the end of the day in no time flat.
You have to find those fleeting moments wherever and however you can. Get creative, so you can do things together (read: with you and both twins)…but separately (read: on a one-to-one level with your littles).
This can be tricky.
On the one hand, you want to be "all-in" with the baby you're bonding with, but you still have to make sure everyone is safe and not getting into any trouble, so you're constantly patrolling the periphery in the back of your mind, which makes it hard to be fully present.
Parents can often feel like they're being pulled in every direction at once. With twins, there are times when you're literally being pulled in opposite directions by two different little humans, who want so badly to show you something that's very important to them.
And, why shouldn't they get your full attention? Of course, you want to go with both of them at the same time, but you are only one person and can't always do that.
Instead of getting frustrated by the times you can't give your twins that one-on-one time directly, find ways, whenever possible, to leverage your current situation to strengthen the bond with each of your babies.
Give them separate tasks
Your twins may like doing everything together, side by side. While this is surely cute and never gets old, try to give your toddlers separate tasks sometimes, so they can be proud of the things they can accomplish on their own—even if they still need your help.
Give them individual tasks they can help you with, while their counterpart plays or works on a project next to you guys.
Get them to "help you" put on or fold the laundry, vacuum the floor (even if they're just moving a toy to mimic the vacuuming motion), empty the dishwasher, or throw something in the garbage for you.
You can praise their good work when they complete their task (or give it a valiant effort), and give them the gratification that comes with successfully doing what is asked of them.
Celebrate their individuality
Your twins' personalities are likely evolving before your eyes and will continue to do so as they keep growing.
Celebrate their individuality and use it to further bond with each of your little ones.
Seek out their favorite fashion accessory and watch how they style it. Track down their favorite toy and play with them. Be goofy, and let them be goofy back.
Call up their favorite song, watch their face light up when they recognize the tune, and have a little dance party together.
This will likely end in a dual dance party, so be prepared for that level of energy output—but, at least each twin will have a chance to have a song that was chosen just for them.
One of our twins loves I'm Goin' Down by Bruce Springsteen and the other loves The Boys of Summer…specifically the version by The Ataris, not Don Henley. When we call their individual songs up, they each get this special glimmer in their eyes, and it's so special to see how much joy a few familiar notes can bring to their little faces.
Get down on their level
Adults are tall, so little ones are always looking up to their parents (in more ways than one). It's easy to forget how much bigger we are. Try to remember to get down on their level.
Make a cushion or blanket fort and lay down on the floor with your twins and do whatever they want to do.
Maybe one will cozy up to you. Maybe the other will want to build a fort. Or maybe they'll bring you a book or toy to play with while you're in their comfort zone. Whatever they want to do, embrace it and relish the time spent together.
Go for one-on-one outings
While it may not always be possible, if you get the opportunity, try taking your twins for separate outings.
When you have another parent or caregiver available, take one twin to the store or out to run errands. Take the other with you to get the mail or out for a stroll, so you can get some one-on-one time while you're out and about.
Embrace independent playtime
Set up independent playtime and join each of your babies separately to see what they're up to / what interests them and why.
If both parents are home, set up different stations (a water and sand area versus a T-Ball area versus a bubble lawn mower or pedal-car. Each parent can play one-on-one with whatever their toddler wants to tackle.
Cozy up and enjoy a good story
If you can plan bathtime for when both parents are home, one baby can get squeaky clean, while the other one gets snuggling.
Grab a book and cozy up to read a few stories with one twin, while their counterpart is in the tub or getting their nails trimmed, etc., with the other parent or caregiver.
Use feedings to log some snuggle time
Whether you're breastfeeding or bottle feeding your babies, this is a good time to score some snuggle time with your little ones each day.
If you're tandem feeding, it may not be one-on-one time, but you can still get some quality cozying in, while you cradle and nurse your twins.
If you're bottle feeding, this is a chance for each parent to take a tike, kick back, and enjoy some cuddles while they enjoy their calories.
Turn "off schedules" into one-on-one opportunities
Parents of multiples often hear from fellow parents how important it is to keep your babies' schedules synced up, so chances are likely good that your twins are on the same schedule, for the most part.
It probably doesn't happen often, but for the rare times where one baby sleeps in and the other wakes up early and is ready to start the day, get them out of bed and have some time for just the two of you to do whatever they feel like doing (at home, obviously, unless both parents are home) until their sibling gets up.
Just be prepared for the one who's awake to go barging into their bedroom, hooting and hollering, because they're pumped and want their twin to join in on the fun, which is fine…but, then, there goes your one-on-one time.
Make meaningful memories
The first days (read: months) with your newborn twins may be tiring (read: zombifying). If you're wondering what you need in order to survive the newborn twin stage, you can read all about that, here and here.
The time will fly by, and you'll have no idea where it went.
You'll spend almost every waking moment on an endless loop of completing time-consuming but necessary chores, and you'll realize that the time you want to spend bonding with your babies gets gobbled up by these tiring tasks.
So, it's up to you, as parents, to find time where there isn't any, to strengthen your relationship with your little ones, no matter how tired you feel.
What only takes a few moments can make meaningful memories that will stick with you and your twins forever.
Despite the struggle of trying to find time when it's so fleeting, one thing is for certain: no matter how utterly exhausted you are, you'll never get tired of the snuggles.
Was there anything special you did to solidify the bond with each of your twins? How did you find the time to create special one-on-one memories? Let us know in the Comments section below.
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